I wondered why you were in my dreams last night?
Its not September yet to be your birthday so i dont recall any reason why i should be dreaming of you. The scenes was a bit hazy but i suppose you stayed for a while and i can only remember one act, you tapped my shoulder and told me with a smile that everything will be alright, i asked how did you know?
How did you know that everything will be alright? How did you know that i'am not alright?
we were suddenly singing a song together, but you know how dreams are, they are always out of the usual if not totally impossible because you were playing the guitar pretty good and we were singing a different song, i find it funny because we both know that you are a terrible guitar player. you cannot even play Fmajor7 properly, your fingers are like chicken feet when playing. I still got the smile on my lips when i opened my eyes, i turned on my computer and thought of reading the letter i wrote for you some years ago, my smile turned into a bigger smile then i wasn't smiling anymore, i was actually laughing when i realize that i wrote it 15may2009, exactly 6 years ago to date, i remember it was a weekend when i receive a call from Eman telling me that you are already gone, so soon brother, i thought we still have one song to sing together, that very moment i wrote a farewell letter for you (A Letter For Boyet), Now i wonder no more why you are in my dreams, thank you for making me feel "alright" and for the smile, i haven't had one in a while, i will be coming home soon, who knows maybe sooner than we though, tell big brother we will be singing "Blowing In The Wind" once again, it will be the loudest day in heaven and all the angels will be rocking with us, in the meantime just hang in there and enjoy the view I still have more people to meet, lesson to learn and monkey business to finish. i will see you soon and thank you for dropping by. -de du1sbn/15may2015
May 15, 2009
It is always shocking to receive news of someone’s death, always untimely, unexpected and sometimes unbelievable; I was still around, hoping that one day we could see each other again and have a lengthy talk over a cup of coffee or a bottle of beer, just like the way we always do, until I receive the untimely, unexpected, unbelievable news,
We first met when we were kids, we fondly call you Boyet among other names we are not exactly the best of friends maybe because we are a part of a bigger group and we enjoy the company of everybody else, our circle of friends is a bit different we’d stay out late sitting on benches discussing matters, we are like old souls that incarnated in this lifetime all in the same place. But as the years went on we somehow found that we have the same interest on a lot of things or at least we see each other as an interesting person to be with, we were both attracted to the song “Blowing In The Wind” and the likes, thou your version is more like Bob Dylan and mine were Peter, Paul & Mary, we compliment each other, I play the guitar while you sing, I will do the listening while you do the talking, you conceptualize while I create, I have the questions and you have the answers.
I remember in one of our late night discussions, you shared to us what you read in the book “Beyond The Unknown” I went on looking for a copy but never had the chance to see or even found out if the book ever existed, but our series of story telling on the matter helped me overcome my fear of the unknown, you explained to me the reason behind my inferiority, where it is coming from and how to deal with it, even before I got to know what the hell inferiority is, you made me go places, do and say things that I would never had done on my own, but later I realize it jump started my battle against myself, you even introduce me to the Zodiacs when we were kids we found out that we have the same zodiac sign and our birthdates were just 10 days apart, I had a chance to see your place in the seminary when you were still studying to become a priest , I was also there when you graduated, again I am your regular visitor in your school when you were a teacher. We saw a concert together. We did a lot of other things.
After years of not seeing each other we met again eight years ago in your place in Cubao, as usual we discuss almost every topic possible from mustard seed to the heavens above, we were catching up on lost years you never failed to introduce me on what you have been up to lately like the books of Z.Sitchin and Astrology, you showed me your upper room filled with pictures of Sri Satya Sai Baba. Even while we were walking along the dim lighted street of your place we were still having a short topic discussion, time seems to be running out, like tomorrow will never come, that was the last time we saw each other and tomorrow never did come.
When we visited you in your wake the night before your mortal body were cremated I was subconsciously asking you, the one single question that we seem to ask after all those years “do we really continue to exist after we die” I saw your picture, the only one in the room, you were smiling back, and I think I got the answer,,, you never fail to have an answer to all my question as if we were having a conversation again just like the old times,,,
You became my mentor, my guide, a source of information, a friend, a compatriot, my astrological reader, my playmate when we were kids, my helpmate and companion in our journey towards my eventful meeting with the divine, I wish to meet you again in our next lifetime and continue the beautiful things that we have started.
Roberto Jr., Mario Ruel, Boyet, “kambing”
Thank you for a wonderful encounter I will miss everything about you, maybe it was meant for us see each other for the last time eight years ago, it was the most meaningful moment I had with you little did I know that you were actually saying goodbye when you shook my hand before I went, I still have the questions but you were not around with your answers,,, I will always remember you every time I hear this lines of the song “the answer my friend is blowing in the wind, the answer is blowing in the wind” goodbye, till’ we meet again,
"Blowing In The Wind" Bob Dylan and Peter, Paul & Mary